It’s also very important to understand that the traditional image of the battered wife is very, very far from the whole story. Abuse occurs in all kinds of relationships, including same-sex relationships. Also, not all abusers are male, and not all victims are female. Many older people are abused too, either by their spouses, their adult children, or their “carers”.
The following tactics are some (but not all) of those used by abusers of all kinds – family members, work colleagues, “friends”, etc., and – although we’ve based our list on the structure used by The Freedom Programme (which focusses on domestic abuse of women) – all tactics can be used in all abusive relationships. Please leave a comment on this page, or any of the following pages, if you would like to add a tactic.
Some Tactics an Abuser Might Use
Bullying & Intimidation – controlling you by fear.
Bad Parenting – using your children to control you.
Mind Games – confusing you and making you feel like you’re going mad.
Isolation – cutting you off from your friends and family, work and education.
Degradation – sexual humiliation.
Lording-it – treating you like a slave.
Lying – denying the abuse, trivialising the abuse, blaming you for the abuse.
Guilt-tripping – Making you feel guilty to get his/her own way.