23 thoughts on “Contact”

  1. This is the best website for adult aspies I saw, better than the ones availables of my own language and country. I’m Dutch, 40 years old and recently my son is diagnosed with aspergers. My younger son is being examined on suspection of autism too. By all that I learnt about the subject I recognised my own youth and development and all the confusion, pain and rejection I’ve been feeling all my life. For all of my life I struggled to ignore, denie and fight my problems, till now. Your website is so respectful and encouraging. Though I’m scared of any psychological research, reading your blogs helped me to talk to my husband and take a decision on this together. I’ll have an appointment with the psychologist soon. I’m still scared that I’m just crazy or weird, but not autistic. That would be slap in my face, feeling different all my life as far as I can remember. But I need an answer, so I’ll go for it. See if it helps me to understand and manage things better and have a better energy management with less stress…so scared,

  2. I am 55 years old and am finally waiting for a formal diagnosis to take place. This syndrome/disorder/ illness/disease has ruined my life and continues to do so. I had an abusive childhood due to a father, who I now realise, had Aspergers and OCD. I have been bullied and sexually molested throughout my life and have never been able to stay in a job for long. My son has diagnosed Aspergers and both my 1st cousins have clear Aspie characteristics as did my aunt who was my fathers sister. I have been told that I have depression, anxiety, menopause etc and have been prescribed endless medications which never made any difference. I have been told by a psychiatrist that I could not possibly have Aspergers as I got married and had children!!!!
    I am now estranged from every member of my family, with the exception of my son, including my own daughter and have 2 failed marriages behind me. I blame Aspergers for all this misery and just wish someone, somewhere had taken me seriously, perhaps then I may have had a chance at having a decent life. Diagnosis will help me because I will finally know that I am not to blame for my life being a total failure but it certainly won’t help me to improve my circumstances as there is no help out there and society doesn’t care.

  3. i get your blog .i have aspergers and m.,e take part in a lot lot research .

    i was abused sexually as a child i have m.e .BECAUSE i was abused .people
    do not see the every day effects .my story is in a Authors book.i do a blog

  4. FORGIVE TYPOS IM.DISLEXIC AND FONE PREDICTS WRONG As short and sweet as can cause dislexic. Have known and been with partner for 6 years has previous history with partner. me same dv. Have suspected aspergers a few times have small experience with children who I had so much patience for. Now I am sure I fear this greatly he has all symptoms have tried to get him to the doctors a few times once we had a break thro doctor diagnosed him with depression… this is not the case I know he knows something is not right and a proper diagnosis would help reassure him hopefully his way of dealing with things is violence and verbally abusive behaviour in the wrong surrounding with has been detrimental we are all suffering because of his ignorance and are in risk of loosing our home the children are being abused on a daily basis because of there breathing eating walking ECT it is tearing me apart I know he is not well and I want to help but I am exhausted I cannot drag him to a doctor and he has run me down so much I just don’t have the strength please don’t think in ignorant I am only only saying this because I would like some advice if possible is how do I get diagnosis and support for him or he will have to go but I’m sure any one with aspergers would understand it is difficult for him to walk away despite the pain his causing to us as he is v.attatched unfortunately the his violent actions have made us me and 4 children in attatached we have no love or care anymore the only reason I’m asking this is cause I believe he is seriously ill and would like to know he is in safe hands before we go away. As Obviously his parents have failed considering the father and another son has aspergers… my partner is often crying out for help but I just don’t know where to turn to get that support for him especially when I am just too exhausted after he has destroyed everything and his behaviour is irreversible… pls help

  5. Hi Leigh,

    I am a suspected Aspie and am considering (read: “encouraged” to get) a formal diagnosis. Before I do that, I’d like to know a few things and I wondered if you could help.

    1 – Should I get a diagnosis, will this diagnosis be confidential or will it be accessible to other people ? Will it be confined to England or is there any chance that this could end up somewhere in a file in another country ?
    2 – Should I get a diagnosis, am I then obligated to tell that to any future prospective employer when I apply for a job ?
    3 – Should I get a diagnosis, how many doors will that close for me that you are aware of ? I know the military is one, can you confirm that ? Is there any other ?

    The reason for those questions are that I read the military will systematically reject any applications from people diagnosed with Asperger. So should I in the future wish to join the military or apply for a job there, if I have a Asperger diagnosis and the obligation to tell them or, if they have access to my medical file, then they’ll reject me. I wonder if that is true and I would like to know if I can expect any other such consequences to getting formally diagnosed. Also, if I get a diagnosis and it turns out “badly” for me in my current job, will I then have the possibility to start afresh, in another job in England, or in another country, and still have the possibility to hide and not tell anyone I am autistic ?

    I need to know that kind of information before I go ahead. Any help would be appreciated. I asked the same question at a diagnosis practice and at the National Autistic society but they are overwhelmed at present and not answering anything.

    Thanks in advance.

    • Hi V,
      1. My understanding is that your medical records are still strictly confidential in the UK, and can only be accessed by people/organisations you have given your permission to. I’m not aware that medical records are shared with other countries, so, no, I don’t think there is any official way knowledge of your diagnosis could turn up in another country.

      2. You are not obliged to tell ANYONE about a diagnosis, not your friends, family, current employer or future employer. If you were to tell an employer (current or future), and you were refused a job or sacked on the basis of your autism, that would come under disability discrimination, which is illegal in the UK. Some employers might try to find ways round the law, by sacking you, or refusing you a job on other grounds, but they would have to be able to prove that your autism had nothing to do with their decision. But who would want to work for such an unscrupulous employer anyway! Many employers will be happy to make the necessary accommodations for autistic employees, and some are even particularly happy to employ autistic people, because we’re seen as an easy way to tick the “equal opportunities” box. So, there are pros and cons to telling an employer, but the law is on your side.

      3. I heard some years ago that UK police forces don’t employ autistic people, at least not as serving officers (there are plenty of other, civilian, roles within the police); but I don’t know if that’s still the case. I don’t know of any other restrictions. However, I would imagine that the military could reasonably expect access to your medical records, so I doubt a diagnosis is something you could, or should, hide from them.

      All that said, autistic people have unique talents, and are particularly suited to – and can excel at (and thus particularly enjoy) – certain kinds of work. I strongly recommend reading Tony Attwood’s “Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome” in which he dedicates a chapter to work-related strengths, weaknesses, and career choices for those with autism.

      Good luck!

  6. I am a 34 yr female and I have just in the past week been diagnosed…I have to say the diagnosis and finding this site has been the biggest sigh of relief I have ever had.
    Thank you for being here

  7. Reading through this website (and others) has led me to being tested. When I read through personal accounts of women who didn’t find out they were on the Autism spectrum until their 20s, 30s, and later, everything made so much sense. Something clicked and simply reading about their struggles and relating to them made me hate myself slightly less. I took every Autism test I could find online and each one had positive results. I found a great doctor and testing begins next month. But now I wonder, what happens if I’m not on the spectrum? I’ve spent all this time believing I could have ASD and all this energy studying and reading about Autism and Asperger’s. What if I’m not? What if they tell me no and I’m back to where I started? Depressed, anxious, awkward, and alone. What do I do?

  8. Have had painful experience of GP stating im probably not asperger. Because im married and have friends,even after i gave a list of my traits and back up of my husband. I broke down shaking and crying uncontollable in the surgery since i keep getting diagnosed with depression. Doesnt explain my over sensory overload, how to interact in conversations and ..i could go on.. I now feel awful

  9. Hi
    I have just come across your website now, and will go through it a few more times to take in all the info. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers at 4 years old and through his own hard work and help he is doing really well. He is now almost 18 and will in a couple of years go to university.
    I have also set up an Autism discussion group where I work, with 33 members, and we organise events to bring more awareness about Autism, including a convention on 8th April for 30 local students on the Spectrum.
    As I understand more about Aspergers I am becoming more convinced I have it, and am thinking about getting a diagnosis. Once I have read through all the information I’d like to be able to ask questions to someone if that’s possible?

  10. I have read all this and am now in tears, ruining the make-up that makes me look like I’m supposed to. But I’m 62 next month – is there any point getting a diagnosis now?

  11. Leigh, My hours have been cut at work so I’ve decided to move to where the job prospects are better and where I’ve been going on holiday for donkeys years. Altho I WANT to move there I’m still finding the whole business very stressful , particularly as at 56 I’ll be leaving the home where I’ve lived all my life. The uncertainty of the situation and the excitement are making it difficult for me to sleep and I’m getting very agitated too.

    Can you offer any help on how to cope with the situation? I’m only self diagnosed, by the way but about a month ago I finally got my doctor to agree to refer me for a formal diagnosis, and that’s unsettling me too.


    Lisa Blosfelds

  12. I really enjoyed reading some of your articles and I love the line “I am not a failed person, I am a successful aspie”. I would like to invite you to look at my youtube channel in which I, an adult with aspergers find ways to handle situations that many like me have difficulty with. When you get some free time, I would like to hear your feedback so please leave a comment on the channel. Thank you and I look forward to working with you.

    Aaryn Smith


  13. My GP has referred me to you for an assessment for Asperger’s. I have private health insurance and would like to arrange an appointment asap. Please call me on 07964 157765. Thank you.

  14. I would like to see information on children raised by a parent who has aspergers whether it was diagnosed or not.

  15. Hello Leigh,

    I have written a couple of spots on your website before as an Asperger sufferer myself. I have recently qualified as a hypnotherapist & I am properly qualified, accredited & registered with the Gemeral Hypnotherapy Register. I would like to offer my services to any of the people that visit your site at very preferential rates. I am not the only hypnotherapist offering this service. However, what makes me stand out from others is that I am Aspie myself. Which means that I can relate to how other sufferers feel in a non judgemental way. I’m a great believer in putting back into life what you take out of it as well.
    I am based near to Fareham in Hampshire. All my details are on the website including contact numbers. I appreciate that you might see this as cold calling, but my desire is to help the people & their families who visit your site. I hope that you would be willing to put this up onto your site or add the website as a link for others to find me,
    Best Wishes,

    Pete Sarginson.

  16. Wow. Thank you for this website! I’m a 45 year old woman and about a month ago I started watching a t.vv series that had an adult character with Asberger’s. Of all the characters on the show, and the 4 seasons of episodes that I watched – that was the character that I related to. I’ve taken the online Aspie tests and qualify with flying colors. The articles on this website, especially, “Think You Might Have Asperger’s Syndrome?” had me in tears… So perfect. Like the author was inside my brain. I’m tired of wondering why I am so capable and so behind everyone my age, in everything. Looks like I have the answer. I’m scared and excited because I feel like there’s freedom in the knowing now. I’m exhausted from wearing a mask for so long. Perhaps, I, too, can become a successful Aspie. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom to the top of my heart. Thank you.

  17. I’m not on Twitter or Facebook so would appreciate a direct email contact. I’d like some advice about how to cope with hospital. I’m having day surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome next month but am getting a bit concerned about how I’ll react. I nearly fainted a few years ago when I had a tooth pulled. I have such a strong sense of modesty that I even hang towels over the mirrors at home when I have a bath. The nurse has said that I will have to wear a gown and remove my bra due to the metal bits in it (I’m allowed to keep my knickers on) but am going to buy a metal free pull on bra so they will have no justification for insisting that I take it off. However, I can see that I might get a bit panicky and walk out if they do insist. Also I will have a nurse talking to me when I’m having the op and I’m not sure how I’ll feel making conversation with a stranger at such a stressful time, or if I’ll find it helps to keep my mind off things. There are no single rooms on the ward, by the way.

    Usually I avoid doctors like the plague as I don’t have much faith in them but my CTS is affecting my work and my hobbies so it really needs doing.

    Any comments or suggestions on how to cope would be welcome.


  18. My partner who has Aspergers and dyslexia was put through the family court accused of hurting her child’s arm. She was completely railroaded and lost. Her child is on an SGO with her brother. We are going back to court and need someone who understands female Aspergers who are mothers.
    If you can help or know someone who can please contact me

  19. Hello,

    I can’t see that you’ve added much to this site for a while and wondered if it is still active, and just what the (ongoing) aims are… can you elucidate? I’m very interested to understand more about Asperger’s and how to handle it as an adult – in particular how to manage the effects it has on other people, or rather minimise its impact.

    I hope to hear back from you

    Thanks, Trevor


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