It’s also very important to understand that the traditional image of the battered wife is very, very far from the whole story. Abuse occurs in all kinds of relationships, including same-sex relationships. Also, not all abusers are male, and not all victims are female. Many older people are abused too, either by their spouses, their adult children, or their “carers”.
The following tactics are some (but not all) of those used by abusers of all kinds – family members, work colleagues, “friends”, etc., and – although we’ve based our list on the structure used by The Freedom Programme (which focusses on domestic abuse of women) – all tactics can be used in all abusive relationships. Please leave a comment on this page, or any of the following pages, if you would like to add a tactic.
Some Tactics an Abuser Might Use
Bullying & Intimidation – controlling you by fear.
Bad Parenting – using your children to control you.
Mind Games – confusing you and making you feel like you’re going mad.
Isolation – cutting you off from your friends and family, work and education.
Degradation – sexual humiliation.
Lording-it – treating you like a slave.
Lying – denying the abuse, trivialising the abuse, blaming you for the abuse.
Guilt-tripping – Making you feel guilty to get his/her own way.
2 thoughts on “Abuse Tactics: Introduction”
Its intent is to sow seeds of doubt in the targets, hoping to make them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Instances may range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.
Hello, I started reading about girls and autism because my daughter had developmental delay and some very repetetive behaviour. When I was reading about it all I realised that I recognized a lot for myself. I seem to function well, but in all areas of life I have not functioned well at all, maybe because I get so confused after a while. It starts well, usually. I have a total gung-ho attitude and bounce back from all sorts of crap, but it never goes anywhere (studies, work, raising the kids) because I’m at a loss as to where it’s supposed to go and how I’m supposed to get there.
A diagnosis is out of the question because I do make eye-contact and I have learnt the art of small talk. My new partner, after researching autism since meeting my daughter, did ask me whether I thought I was mildly autistic though. It was a huge relief, and I kind of said yes, but then clammed up and we haven’t talked about it after. It is easier for him to see perhaps, as we spend a fair amount of time together. After having been in a very abusive relationship I decided that trying to change is out of the question, I have tried for years and years and it only ended in tears. So I haven’t hidden anything from him, thinking that if he doesn’t like it he can walk away.
Sorry, I ramble on.
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