Personal Stories

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» About Being Bullied, by Anon.

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3 thoughts on “Personal Stories”

  1. (Female young adult)
    My experience with autism (possibly Aspergers, the diagnosis was not further specified) in school was difficult. In the hallways, which were heavily crowded, I was very timid, and did not want to be there. Other students would scare me by yelling (usually foul language) in my face. This would interrupt my day very harshly. There was one boy in particular who would say very inappropriate and sexually offensive things about my body. He just yelled those things loudly in my face so I would become very uncomfortable, and maybe even walk away crying because I was scared. I was (and still am) very anxious when people would raise their voices at me or show any signs of discontent towards me. One teacher knew that I had this problem, but didn’t seem to understand. Sometimes the classsroom would become very loud, and I would cry. My teacher saw this, and made a scene. “You are not in kindergarten anymore! Get over it!” That only made it worse. With every student in the room staring at me, I would be sent out of the classroom to “shape up”. In my opinion, this was not appropriate. My problem is that I still dwell upon the events that happened before, sometimes making my feel depressed.

  2. The Unwanted Child 1960’s
    (Undiagnosed Female Aspergers Child)

    I wish you were never born
    We got the wrong one out of the hospital
    Stop fiddling with things…..constantly
    Clumsy girl
    Go Away, you are too demanding
    I can’t deal with your temper tantrums anymore
    A good dose of the Belt or Cane will sort you out
    Keep your mouth shut, impertinent child
    I don’t like you
    Why can’t you be more like your sister…she has friends
    You have no friends, nobody likes you
    You are too sensitive….toughen up
    Somethings wrong in your head……the synapses aren’t connecting
    You are dumb, without any brains
    Off to La La Land again…..
    Stop daydreaming and LISTEN to me

    Who are you?….you are not My Child

    Why don’t you love me?
    Why can’t you see me?
    Why do you bash and yell at me….it hurts
    I am here
    The World within me is beautiful
    But to you…I am invisible

    [author wishes to remain anonymous]

    • so much of that sounded familiar to me, things i’ve been told by my mom, my grandmother, teachers…was even one or two that my sister-in-law said to me.
      i knew there had to be a reasonable explanation to the issue, of me not fitting anywhere, anytime. forget about ‘square peg’, i’ve always felt as if i’m a parallelogram or an obtuse triangle.
      i just wish others hadn’t had those same things spoken at them, because i know how much those words can hurt, especially when it comes from someone important.
      i don’t know how to feel about learning these things about myself. but at least i can sort of see why my mother loved me, but didn’t like me. i wasn’t what she had hoped for. i just wish i could apologize to her. i feel like i owe everyone an apology now: friends, teachers, family…just everyone i had met in my life.

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